.5 Entry

8/21/25

I think there is something incredibly humanizing and freeing about the prospect of posting and creating in this digital space. I see this as a space outside of myself and my everyday life. That may be an incorrect assumption because I see this passion project (website building & coding) becoming an immediate, more important part of my life. I am so excited about this.
For some context I really struggle with authenticity. I am 21 and recently graduated with my bachelors in political science. I am navigating life for the first time without something immediately planned for myself on the horizon. I plan to use web design as a homage to myself and a way to free myself from the performances that plague me everyday. Mostly due to modern social media like insta, tik tok, and even my tumblr to some degree.
With those pages I feel like I'm constantly being watched.. because I am! And that feeling watched makes me inherently preformative even when I don't mean to be. I only have 1 person from my life that knows me irl on my personal tumblr (not to be confused with my fandom one) and even though she's one of my best friends, I find myself being careful with the things I post and say. A once personal space/ safe haven has turned into what all my other socials have turned into, a stage with the spotlight shined on me.
I've always loved using my tumblr, instagram/ spam pages, and any corner of the internet I can find as a digital diary, scrapbook, notebook, etc. But I have found that a lot of joy is lost when I feel like a performer and I find myself censoring the things I say or share because... monitoring spirits, I don't want to upset the masses, and a slew of other things. Thus this webpage was born. this is only the intro and I'm very much a beginner so.. gonna figure out how to code cool shit so I can make this diary more diary entry like. ttyl.